Tips for Supporting Your Partner During Fertility Treatment
This past January 26, we celebrated National Spouses Day, a time to honor and appreciate the love, support, and dedication spouses bring to their relationships. For couples navigating fertility treatments, this day can serve as a powerful reminder of the importance of leaning on and caring for one another during what is often an extremely emotional journey.
While the day itself may have passed, the sentiment behind it is always relevant—especially for couples facing the challenges of fertility care. If you or your partner are undergoing fertility treatments, here are some meaningful ways to support one another and strengthen your bond through this journey.
1. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Fertility treatments can be physically, emotionally, and financially taxing, and every individual processes these experiences differently. It may seem like a no-brainer, but you can create a safe space where you and your partner can share your thoughts, fears, and hopes without judgment. Active listening—truly hearing your partner out—can go a long way in helping them feel supported.
We recommend setting aside some regular, dedicated time (whether it’s daily, weekly, etc. - whatever works best for you and your partner) to talk. Put down your phone and truly aim to be present during these conversations. Even 5 - 10 minutes a week can go a long way in making you or your partner feel heard!
2. Educate Yourself About the Process
Whether your partner has become somewhat of a fertility expert themselves through their own research or is feeling too overwhelmed to know where to start, you can support them by taking the time to learn about the fertility treatments they will undergo or are undergoing.
Research the testing, procedures, side effects, and timelines to better understand what they’re experiencing and for logistical planning purposes. Attending appointments together, when possible, is another way to show your support and stay informed. If you have questions for the physician or another member of the care team - speak up! We can’t stress enough that there are no stupid questions.
3. Be Patient and Flexible
Fertility treatment schedules can be unpredictable, with appointments, medications, and procedures potentially disrupting daily routines. If you’re the kind of person who thrives on order and routine - you may need to prepare for a mindset shift. If you can show up with patience and a willingness to adapt to any situation, it can help ease some of the stress your partner might feel about balancing treatment with other commitments.
4. Get Practical
After doing your research to understand the process and time commitment your partner’s fertility treatment will require, it’s time to get practical. How are you and your partner currently divvying up household tasks, especially major ones like cooking and cleaning? Discuss opportunities to reallocate some of these so your partner can focus on their health and well-being.
For example, if your partner normally does all the cooking for your family, you could start by planning and executing meals on the days they have their appointments. Every couple will have a balance that is unique to their dynamic.
5. Focus on Emotional Support
Sometimes, the best way to support your partner is by simply being present. Brainstorm all the things your partner likes to do to relax when they’re feeling emotionally taxed. Do they like to be physically held or hugged? Do they like to binge a comforting TV show? Do they just need to let out all of the emotion and cry?
Think about the things you can do together. Sometimes, your presence is enough to provide a sense of comfort and security.
6. Find Ways to Celebrate Small Wins
The fertility journey is referred to as a journey for a reason. It can be immensely helpful to think of your partner’s treatment as a series of steps. To stay resilient and hopeful during the journey, we recommend celebrating each milestone. Whether it’s completing a round of medication, receiving promising test results, or simply making it through a tough day, take time to recognize these moments as a team.
If it’s helpful, plot these milestones out on a calendar so you can look forward to them coming. Decide in advance how the two of you will reward yourselves for getting through each step!
7. Take Care of Yourself, Too
It should go without saying that supporting your partner doesn’t mean ignoring your own needs. Managing your own stress and emotions ensures you have the energy and capacity to be there for your partner. Whether it’s through exercise, therapy, or time spent with friends, investing in yourself is an essential part of being a supportive spouse.
Looking Ahead: Strengthening Your Relationship Every Day
While National Spouses Day reminds us to celebrate the special bond we share with our partners, every day presents an opportunity to show love, care, and commitment. For couples navigating fertility treatments, these small acts of support can bring you closer together and make the journey a little easier.
Remember, you’re in this together, and your shared strength as a team will help you face whatever challenges come your way.
If you or your partner are looking for additional resources or support during fertility treatment, our team at Indiana Fertility Institute is always here to help. Contact us today if you’re ready to start this journey with us!